Do you find it uneasy or reassuring that someone knows EVERYTHING about you?
We live in a society where almost everything is put out there on social media about us – pictures of our favorite food, vacationing with family and friends, our best and worst days, rants and raves alike. But, do those things represent the best of who God desires us to be?
As I read Psalm 139 I find myself a bit relieved and unsettled. I am left unsettled simply for the fact that God knows ALL the in's and out's of what I say and do and even those quiet thoughts that loom in my head – both positive and negative. I would rather keep those things private, personally. I wouldn’t want God to think negative things of me - How embarrassing, even shameful and guilt-inducing. But, there is also relief in the fact that God does know all of that and loves me anyhow.
Like a child who wants to break free from the wrapped arms of their parents, we jostle around when difficult things are pointed out to us. We squirm to break free what feels like captivity, committed as we are to our own self-persuasion, the justification of why we act a certain way, what we hold onto, or what believe about ourselves and others. We wrestle with the fact that someone (God) knows and will call out those things that are not profitable for us as His children.
But here is the kicker. God doesn’t stop at merely showing us our brokenness– God challenges us to do better and to own up to the faults of our thoughts, words and actions, our sin - and seek forgiveness from Him and others.
David courageously asks God to conduct an internal excavation (vs. 23). It is a pretty brave request considering what all David knew about himself and what he had done. David not only asked, but, was prepared to listen to all that God would reveal to him about his heart (vs. 24). David wanted to know God’s opinion of who he was. He knew that God would not hold back the truth and wanted the best of him. WARNING - Be prepared for the answer though my friends. You might be asked to give that part of yourselves a good cleaning out. David ends his Psalm by asking to be “…led in the way everlasting.” We surrender the authority we have wrongfully taken for ourselves and instead allow God to lead us both to face our faults and to find a way through them to redemption and restoration. Remember God loves us extravagantly.
Search my heart Lord and show me the things that harbor me. Help me to change and make it right.
Change me from the inside out.
Grace and Peace